Only Time Will Tell
by CSISaraSidle72
Summary: Olivia Benson has a daughter, that nobody knows about.  When they find out, it's not the best of circumstances.  When Izzie gets sick, Olivia knows she can't fight this alone.  Will her friends help her in her time of need?  Or hold it against her?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: So, I kept thinking of stories to write, just to keep my muse going. But I didn't want to write the same story lines for the same TV shows, so I decided to try my hand at writing it for Law & Order: SVU, since I do love that show. Up until now, I've been afraid of writing fics for SVU, but I now feel that I'm ready, because I now know what direction I should use to take this story and succeed in writing it right.

P.S. I'm a BIG Olivia Benson fan. I do love Elliot Stabler, but I'm not sure about them being a couple. I can't promise anything, though.

And I also like old school SVU, meaning if any other characters from the Precinct show up, it will more than like be: Melinda Warner, Detective John Munch, Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Detective Donald Cragen, Dr. George Huang, ADA Alexandra "Alex" Cabot and ADA Casey Novak.

Background Story: This takes place in December of 2005. What Olivia has been able to hide from everyone is the fact that she actually does have a child, a little girl named Elizabeth Marie Russell. Izzie kept her father's last name. Olivia's husband, Jack, died in a car accident in the year 2000. Nobody knew of it, because they were separated by then. Izzie was born July 14, 1998, before Olivia was transferred to SVU.

Again, nobody knows about Izzie. When Olivia's at work, her nanny, Theresa Chalmers, takes care of the little girl.

SVUSVUSVUSVU

All day, Olivia had a nagging feeling in her gut that something was wrong. She didn't know what, though. She tried her best to work, to concentrate on her job, but it seemed pointless. She couldn't focus worth a damn when she had this feeling stabbing at her, not at all letting her go. All she could think of was the conversation that had transpired that morning.

_Her alarm clock had sounded. After getting up and taking a quick shower, she walked into Izzie's room. The room was painted yellow, with strings of butterflies and ladybugs hanging from the ceiling. In a twin sized bed lay her daughter, who usually would've been up by now. Olivia's brow furrowed as she sat on the side of her daughter's bed, shaking her shoulder gently._

"_Izzie, it's time to wake up."_

_The little girl groaned and turned over on her side. Her deep brown eyes looked up at her mother, and Olivia saw in them exhaustion and...fear? "I don't want to, mommy. Can I stay home today?"_

_Olivia was confused. Taking the back of her hand, she held it against Izzie's forehead. Sure enough, her head was burning up. She left the room, coming back only moments later with a thermometer. She put it in Izzie's mouth, waited, and when the beep sounded, she took it out. Olivia's eyes went wide with worry. 100.2 degrees. She looked down at her little girl. Izzie was staring right back at her mother, her hair brown, shoulder-length hair wet with sweat. Olivia put on a brave face for Izzie, and patted her head. "I'm keeping you home, today." Izzie smiled, and soon was fast asleep._

_Olivia went and called Theresa, asking if she could possibly come over earlier than planned, today. Theresa agreed, and when she arrived, Olivia left for work, checking once again on Izzie, who was still sleeping._

Now it was four hours later. Olivia, every so often, called her apartment number, and Theresa would assure her that everything was fine. It still didn't help much for Olivia, though. But around 11:00am, when her and Elliot were handed a case file, she quickly pushed the thoughts out of her mind. She didn't want to jeopardize Elliot's safety over worrying and overreacting about something that was probably nothing. With a sigh, she left with El, not at all thinking about the fact that her cell phone was still on silent.

SVUSVU

When her and El arrived back around three, she sat at her desk, rummaging through the case file. They'd been called to a scene where a father had murdered his wife and two daughter's, then set the house on fire. They had his name, but were unable to locate him, as of yet.

"You doing okay?"

Startled, Olivia whipped around in her chair only to find herself face-to-face with Elliot, who looked at her worriedly. Over the last six years, they'd grown tremendously close, but not close enough to where Olivia would actually tell him about her daughter, Izzie.

Catching her breath and slowing her hearts pace, she gave him a brave smile. "I'm fine."

Everyone knew why Elliot got so involved with cases of murdered children...he had four of his own, but the fact that she did blew their minds, because as far as they all knew, she didn't have a kid, much less did she know how to take care of one and how to act when she was around one. _If only they knew, _Olivia thought bitterly.

Elliot kept looking at her, but, finally satisfied with her response, he went to his desk, which was placed exactly across from hers. He sat down and started going through his own files.

Time ticked by, and before Olivia knew it, it was almost seven. Olivia was ready to leave, but she still had an hour to go. That's when she heard a commotion out in the hallway, and a voice, so hauntingly familiar. She got up and walked over to the door, looking, trying to see where this disturbance was coming from. And the voice got louder.

"Ma'am...you can't go back there unless you have a crime to report."

"But I must see detective Benson. It's an emergency!"

Olivia's eyes were wide with fear. _Theresa. _Without thinking, Olivia ran hurriedly in the direction that the voices were coming from. That's where she saw Theresa, having words with a uniformed police officer. But what got to Olivia was Izzie, her tiny daughter wrapped in the arms of her babysitter, her face pale and flushed.

When Olivia got to them, she pushed the officer out of the way. "What happened?" she asked frantically, taking Izzie from Theresa's arms and settling her little girl on her hips, rubbing her back soothingly.

Izzie moaned. "It hurts, mommy...it hurts," she said in a raspy, whispered voice.

"Olivia, I'm sorry, but I tried calling you on your cell," Theresa said, her voice sounding not only worried, but scared to death. "She'd been getting worse all day, but I wanted to get a hold of you. Then, I checked her temperature again, and it was a hundred and two. It'd been spiking all day." The young woman, who was only in her early twenties, wiped tears that sprang to her eyes. "I didn't have her insurance card, so I brought her straight here."

Olivia, still worried, patted the woman's arm with her free hand. "You did good. Go get my purse and coat, and we'll take her to the hospital."

Theresa did as she was told, and then the trio waited for the elevator. It was slow, but Olivia was positive that in her worried state, she wouldn't be able to carry Izzie down all those flights of stairs.

"Liv?"

Olivia looked over in the direction that her name was being called from. There, she saw Elliot, who had spoken her name, as well as Fin, Munch, and Captain Cragen. Their eyes, as much as Olivia could see, held worry. They also looked hurt, and Olivia knew that it was because that, out of all the years she'd worked here, that this was the only time they'd seen or knew about Izzie. She had been planning on introducing all of them, but now they knew. However, she was sorry that it had to be under these circumstances.

Tears began to slip down her cheeks as a ding went off from the elevator and the doors slowly slid open. "I-I'll call as soon as I can," she told them hastily, stepping onto the elevator with Theresa, while Izzie was still in her mother's arms, crying softly. As the elevator closed, she could see all of them nodding curtly at her. She knew they were upset, but her first priority was Izzie, and finding out what was ailing her, once and for all.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you kcbienaime and Moonlit Kit for my two reviews. I noticed I did have quite a few people sign up for story alerts, but I'm not one to check my email everyday. I don't ask for long reviews at all, but just something to let me know that people actually like this story and want me to continue it.

Disclaimer: I only own Izzie Russell and Theresa Chalmers. I wish I owned the SVU characters, but I don't **sigh** But I wouldn't mind borrowing Elliot for a little while ;)

And I did realize that I named Olivia's daughter Elizabeth and the nicknames are almost alike. Olivia wasn't at SVU when she had her daughter, and she didn't know Elliot, so she couldn't have known what he named all of his kids. Also, I named her that because of a show I was recently in, where I met a little girl named Izzie whose real name was Elizabeth, and she's who I'm basing the character "Izzie" on.

Now, on with the show, er...fic...hehe...

* * *

><p>After Olivia left, the squad stood there, motionless, all looking at the place where Olivia, her nanny, and her <em>daughter <em>had been moments before.

Elliot was still standing in front of the elevator, but he finally moved back into the squad room, not wanting unsuspecting people to exit the elevator and think that _he _was crazy.

Captain Cragen watched as Elliot walked back over to them. "Did you know about this?" he asked the Detective, who looked at him with pure confusion.

"Of course I didn't know," Elliot fairly spat out. "If I had, would I have looked as shocked as I just now did?"

Cragen thought about that, then shook his head. "No, I suppose not." But what he couldn't understand was that Elliot and Olivia had been partners for almost six years now! How could Elliot _not _know about it?

All was silent for several moments, as everyone stood there, thinking. Elliot was running his hands through his hair, wondering how this could have eluded him for so long. He didn't come up with an answer.

Finally, Fin spoke. "She's still family. So what if she hid it? She probably had her reasons."

Everyone knew that was true, and they shouldn't be blaming Olivia. But if she did have her reasons, then what were they?

Cragen nodded, looking at the clock. "Let's give them tonight. We'll go in the morning to see how they're both doing. In the meantime, get your paperwork in, then get some rest. Something tells me we have a long road ahead of us, here."

Everyone nodded, slipping from the small circle and back to their desks. But, it was Elliot who was hurt most of all. They'd been partners, the best of friends, and yet she couldn't confide in _him _about her daughter. Things were coming to light, now...why she never invited him over to her place, why she wanted to leave work as soon as possible. But he swore to himself that after he found out, he'd move on, and he'd be there for Olivia and her daughter, no matter what.

* * *

><p>The next morning came all too soon for Olivia. She woke up, hoping that everything from the night before had been a dream, but as she looked around the room, she knew that it wasn't. Her daughter lay in a hospital bed with the railings pulled up. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Her hand had an IV in it, and it's tubes threaded up to a pole that contained two different plastic bags; one of clear fluid and one red (blood, as her counts were all low). Olivia sighed, rubbing her temples. She stood, having slept on a hard cot the whole night, and took another look around the room. Other than the hospital paraphernalia, it looked like a sweet and cozy room, painted a baby blue with different murals along the walls. Bookshelves lined a wall and another wall had a table with four chairs. It was a private room, that also had a TV in it with a DVD player and a couple of game systems. Olivia was grateful, because what Izzie was going to have to go through in the weeks ahead, she needed every distraction that was possible.<p>

Olivia began pacing around Izzie's room, not knowing what else to do. A clock on the wall told her that the time was only a quarter after eight, but she didn't know what to do with herself. She finally turned the TV on low, flipping through the channels as she sat by her daughter's bedside. The chair was not much more comfortable than the cot, but at least she was up where she could keep a close eye on Izzie.

Olivia found herself not really watching the TV, just surfing it. At about 9:05, she heard stirrings from the bed next to her. She looked, and saw Izzie shifting uncomfortably before opening her beautiful brown eyes. "Hi mommy," the little girl said, a smile lighting up her face. Olivia smiled, too, but more in relief. After all that Izzie had been through the night before, she hadn't expected the seven-year-old to be so cheery.

"Hi honey," Olivia said, leaning over and kissing her daughter's forehead. "How're you feeling this morning, baby?" Olivia fought, and after a couple attempts, finally got one of the bed-rails lowered. Izzie giggled at this.

"I'm fine," Izzie replied as her mother took her small, frail hand into her own.

Olivia looked at her precious daughter skeptically. Izzie was in every way like Olivia, including being bullheaded and stubborn. She could be on her deathbed and still say, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Olivia asked again, raising one eyebrow.

Izzie thought about it. Her mother was a detective, so of course she knew she was lying. "Okay, okay...I still feel sick, but I feel a little bit better," she finally replied sheepishly.

Olivia smiled at her, ruffling her brunette hair. Every feature of Izzie looked just like her mother's. "That's better. Now, how about watching some TV? You need to rest for a while."

"No more tests?" Izzie asked brightly. "Does that mean I can go home?"

Olivia frowned, feeling saddened by what her daughter asked and wanted, knowing that she couldn't deliver. "No more tests, but you do have to stay for a while...remember?" Olivia asked tentatively, wondering if her daughter remembered at all the discussion they'd had the night before. Her diagnosis had come in only hours after her arrival, and then she'd been moved upstairs. They sat and talked until the pain was too unbearable for Izzie. A nurse had given her a pain shot, that had knocked her out within ten minutes. Olivia wondered now if she remembered anything, because of the medicine.

Izzie leaned her head back, taking a few minutes to think everything over. She recalled the tests last night: blood being drawn, a huge needle going into her hip, one going into her spine, and then medicine being given after a needle had been stuck in her hand. She slept for a while, and when she woke up, her doctor, Dr. Wirtz, had been there to give her and her mother the bad news. He was an pediatric oncologist—a kid's cancer doctor, and she had leukemia, specifically acute lymphocytic leukemia. They talked for a while longer, and he promised to be back in the morning. Izzie shuddered. She liked him, yet she didn't want to see him again. After he left and the nurse came with the pain medicine, she was asleep in no time.

Izzie grimaced. "I know I have to stay...but I don't want to."

Olivia smiled sadly, kissing her daughter's forehead. "I know, but I'll be staying with you. I'll talk to my Captain to see if I can take some sick time off of work...since I never do."

Izzie giggled. At that moment, a nurse entered. She looked to be in her mid to late twenties, with reddish brown hair cascading all down her back. Izzie couldn't help but smile at the woman, who seemed so nice.

"Morning miss Izzie," the nurse said, setting a tray of food down on the tray table over Izzie's bed. She pulled the top off to reveal cereal as well as eggs, bacon, and a biscuit. Izzie scrunched her face at the latter, and the nurse smiled, pulling the top off the cereal and pouring some milk in it. "I'm nurse Rhonda...your day nurse. If you need anything, you can just push this button," Rhonda pointed to a button right behind Izzie's bed, "and I'll be right here. Is there anything I can get for you?"

Izzie shook her head, smiling shyly. Rhonda smiled, then turned to Olivia, who seemed to be in another world, right then. "Anything I can get for you, ma'am?"

Olivia was forced out of her reverie as she looked at the kind nurse. Olivia smiled. "A cup of coffee would be great."

Rhonda beamed a sweet smile. "I'll be right back, then," she said, and left the room.

Olivia turned on the TV for Izzie to watch as she sat back in her chair, pondering. The whole squad the night before had seen when Theresa had brought Izzie in, and now they knew about her. She felt guilty for not telling them, before, but when she was going to, her husband died in that car accident, and she had to play it off like it was nothing but just taking a few days to herself. She had her reasons for not telling them after that. They may have been selfish reasons, but were valid, nonetheless.

Olivia was pondering so much that she didn't realize that someone had come back into the room. Izzie was reading a book, and Olivia thought it was Rhonda bringing her coffee to her. She looked up, but it wasn't Rhonda with her coffee, it was Elliot. He had a cup of Starbucks coffee, and he was looking down at Olivia with hurt and sadness in his eyes.

"I thought you might be needing this," Elliot said, handing her the coffee.

Olivia murmured her thanks, but now she didn't know what to do. She thought she'd have more time to get it together before she had to see anybody. But now Elliot was here, and she didn't have that luxury anymore.

Now, if she only knew exactly what she was going to do, then maybe she'd be all right.


	3. Chapter 3

All was silent in the room for a few moments. Olivia stared at Elliot, taking a sip of her coffee while Elliot stared at Olivia. Izzie, who'd been reading one of her favorite books, looked up. The man who stood in front of her mother didn't look familiar to her, at all, and that's when Izzie got defensive and protective of the only family she had left. With that, Izzie cleared her throat, and two sets of eyes looked her way.

"I'm sorry," Izzie said, marking her place in her book and closing it. That's when she looked at Elliot. He seemed kind enough, like he cared for her mother. Izzie knew they knew each other, probably from work, but Izzie didn't know him. That's when the seven-year-old looked up at the man standing near her bed. "Who are you?"

Elliot looked at Olivia, his brow raised. He thought that after the night before, Olivia would've explained her work and her colleagues to her little girl. But then, she was probably so sick at the Precinct that she didn't notice anybody else. He stepped next to her bed, holding out his hand. "Elliot Stabler."

Izzie smiled, shaking his hand, trying to search her mind for any memory or recognition of this man. She found none. "Elizabeth Benson-Russell. But, everybody calls me Izzie."

Olivia smiled sadly, but hid it. She thought it cute that Izzie hyphenated her name when she didn't have to. Legally, her last name was Russell, but since she started school, she used Benson along with it, since she still had her mother. The unbidden memory of her husband struck at her, but she did her best to push it away, and succeeded...for now.

Finally, with everything feeling more comfortable and less awkward, Elliot took a seat and pulled it over to sit beside of Olivia, who was at the head of the hospital bed. Elliot was placed more towards the middle, looking at the little girl who was the exact replica of his partner. "You know, I have a daughter named Elizabeth?"

Izzie's eyes went wide. "You do? Is she my age?"

Elliot chuckled. "No, she's twelve. She goes by 'Lizzie,' and I'm sure she would like to visit you, sometime." He didn't add that all of his kids adored Olivia, whom they called their "aunt." He didn't add that because this wasn't the time to make Olivia or Izzie feel bad. He could tell that something was up, what with the IV in Izzie's hand and the tubes that led to the plastic bags filled with fluids. He could tell there was a severity in her diagnosis, but now was not the time to question it. He decided to change the subject, to keep her mind off of her illness, whatever it was. "So, how old are you?"

Izzie smiled. "Seven. Well, almost seven-and-a-half...next month," she replied with a sheepish smile, causing Elliot to laugh.

Olivia, sitting right beside her, couldn't help but to look over at her and smile. Her daughter usually wasn't this outgoing with someone she didn't know. The school she went to was private, paid by her father's inheritance to her, and while there were a lot of kids who attended there, Izzie didn't really have any friends that she spoke of. Actually, on more than one occasion, Olivia had been called to the school over Izzie getting into a fight because some of the kids had made fun of her. Olivia was planning on pulling her out after this year, but she'd have to see about that, now. More than likely, she'd be tutored at the hospital or at home for the next few weeks...or months, depending on how she responded to the treatments, and maybe things would change for her, after that. Olivia could only hope.

But, seeing now how she was interacting with Elliot, made her feel guilty. She had her reasons, but she should've introduced her daughter _at least _to Elliot, before now.

Ruining the moment, nurse Rhonda came in with an orderly who was pushing a wheelchair. Izzie went rigid, and Olivia reached over and held her hand. _What did they want with her daughter, now?_

"Izzie, this is James," Rhonda said, introducing the orderly. "He's going with me to take you to the chemotherapy room, for your first treatment."

Olivia groaned inwardly. It was only Izzie's second day here. On the brighter side, her daughter might be home soon. But she cringed when she thought about how they couldn't give her an extra day before starting her treatments.

Izzie reached over to her mother. "Do I have to go?" she asked. Olivia could tell she was trying to be brave, but saw distinctive tears in her eyes."

"I'm sorry honey," Olivia replied, trying not to cry, herself. "But I'll come with you."

Rhonda reached her hand up to stop Olivia from standing up. "I'm sorry, but it's best for Izzie to go through this alone. We'll bring her right back after her treatments, but she does need to go alone. It's _her _disease, not yours."

Olivia felt anger boil inside, and she about punched that woman's lights out. The same nurse who'd been so nice earlier.

Elliot, looking to Olivia, knew she was about to blow a gasket, and he held his hand out to stop her. "She'll be back. And I'll wait with you," he said, taking her hand into his. Olivia wondered if that was by instinct or so he could definitely grab her if she did try to stand up.

Finally, after taking a few deep breaths, Olivia nodded. She only stood to give her daughter a hug and a kiss. She picked Izzie up and walked her to the wheelchair. James started to protest, but Olivia glared at him, like she would attack if he spoke. James looked to Rhonda, who silently nodded her head.

As the duo rolled Izzie out of the room, Olivia knew she could never forget her daughter's pleading and sad eyes looking to her, as if she would burst out crying at any moment. And, Olivia had to admit, she felt like doing the same thing at that very moment.

* * *

><p>After being told that chemo treatments lasted for at least two hours, Elliot was finally able to coax Olivia out of her daughter's hospital room. After getting a couple of coffees, they strolled out of the hospital and onto the grounds, which looked more like land from <em>The Secret Garden <em>rather than a New York hospital.

They walked to a veranda across the way, which had an inside porch. They both went in and sat at a table Olivia sipped her coffee, not knowing what to say. She couldn't get her mind off of Izzie and the way she'd been treated. Even though it technically was "procedure" around that damn place, it wasn't anything normal to her daughter.

After a few moments of silence, Elliot finally spoke. "What type of cancer does she have?"

Olivia cringed at that word. It sounded dirty to her, even though it was just an illness. "Leukemia. Acute lymphocytic leukemia." She shivered, even though they were inside. Elliot saw this, and reached over and rubbed her shoulder. He knew she wasn't cold. She just didn't want to come to the actual terms of her little girl being sick. He couldn't blame her. He'd be the same way if he was in her position.

"I'm sorry," Elliot replied softly, taking her hand into his.

Olivia looked up at him, wide-eyed. He'd always been her best friend, and in some ways she felt like she'd let him down. "Why are you sorry, El? None of this is your fault. Hell, you didn't even know about her until last..." she trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. She didn't want to bring it up at all, and yet a slip of the tongue had made it rear it's ugly head. If Olivia could've kicked herself, she would've.

Elliot looked at Olivia as she bowed her head. He thought she might cry, although he didn't sense that she was. He rubbed her back, allowing her a few moments of thought. Finally, he asked her so softly, "why, Olivia? Why didn't we know about her? Why didn't _I _ know about her?"

Everything had come full circle. Olivia looked up, seeing only a few people in the veranda...patients, mostly, she assumed. She took a deep, staggering breath in, letting it out slowly.

_Well, _she thought, sighing. _Here goes nothing._ After hiding the truth for all these years, she now had to tell someone. Her partner, to beat it all. She'd just found out the night before that her precious little girl had cancer, and now she was having to drudge up the past after being a coward so many years ago. She knew that this day would come...she just wished that it wasn't today. But she knew it had to be.

Olivia felt tears brim in her eyes as she finally looked over at Elliot, seeing the hurt and pain on his face, once more. It was enough to break her heart. But she had to be strong and stand tall. She kept telling herself that she'd have to let the cat out of the bag at some point...why not today?

Olivia just wished that the conversation could've taken place under any other circumstance than this.


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

(FROM) ONLY TIME WILL TELL

lawandorderfan96  
>2011-12-24 . chapter 3<p>

Its a good story but this one and your other two SVU stories are all pretty much the same.

I knew they were all alike, but after that message, I'm taking a poll on which story you all want me to continue, because now I'll only be finishing one of them.

A) Only Time Will Tell

B) A Christmas Wish

C) Olivia's Secret

I'll be taking votes up until December 31st, and the story that gets the most votes, wins. I may go ahead and delete the two stories that don't win, but that'll depend. I may just finish them shorter so that I can keep them up, but it won't be the same as if I just went a head and wrote out all the chapters THEN finished them.

Please send me any votes to **nobodiesangel_ 16 AT hotmail . com **(it's actually like a regular email address, with no spaces but I had to put the spaces in, because it wouldn't post it, otherwise and the AT is that at symbol, but it wouldn't let me post that at all).  
>When I tally up the votes, I'll email everyone to let them know which story won.<p>

Again, I'm sorry. I know they were the same, but with slightly different premises in them, but that same reason could be why I haven't been getting reviews for a couple of them, too, so this will just make it easier to finish the one that you all like the best.

Everyone vote, and I hope that everyone has a very happy holiday!

Missy

P.S. The reason why I write cancer stories is because I'm very close to the disease, and I know how it works. I write stories about kids not knowing a parent or only having one parent because I've experienced the latter part myself, and I have a couple of cousins facing the first, and I've seen how they reacted to it. I guess I just needed to explain it somewhat, because the stories were so much alike, but I really never meant them to be.


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